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What you don’t know is that he may have been fearful of repeating a particularly bad experience. And then give an example or two of how you do that.īeing empathetic in this manner will satisfy many modesty concerns. Know that I take your privacy seriously and that your exposure will be kept to the absolute minimum”. Better to instead respond with “I understand your concern and wish I could accommodate your request but we don’t have any male staff. It actually works most of the time but it greatly amplifies the patient’s embarrassment. Why won’t men speak up? Because all too often when he does he gets “you don’t have anything I haven’t seen”, “don’t be silly”, or “we’re all professionals here”.īasic bullying and shaming techniques are intended to shut down the conversation rather than acknowledge the concern and then speak to it. Why won’t the medical world acknowledge the issue? Because they’d then be obligated to do something about it. Why is this? Partly because it is the elephant in the room that the medical world does not want to discuss and partly because men are afraid to speak up. Interestingly, when articles are written about men not going to the doctor, modesty is never listed as one of the reasons. Most men are somewhere in-between the two extremes. On the other end are men who forego healthcare rather than have female nurses and techs for intimate care. The healthcare system is fine as is for them. On one end of the spectrum are those guys who have no modesty whatsoever.
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Why do we expect men to have testicular ultrasounds by female techs? Why do urology practices with predominantly male patients only have female nurses & techs for cystoscopies and other very intimate procedures? Why the double standard?Īs with any human trait, there is a continuum when we’re talking about modesty. We don’t expect women to have male techs for their mammograms. The problem for men is lack of options at the nursing and tech level, where most intimate care occurs. The relative male-female parity amongst physician ranks generally affords both men and women with sufficient options. Gender neutral works for the caregivers perhaps, but oftentimes not for the men. “Medicine is gender neutral” is a true enough statement if by that we mean female nurses and techs are comfortable providing virtually all of the intimate care for men and women.